Flute Punch

Archive for the ‘Cool Stuff’ Category

My custom flute case cover with custom embroidery from MischiefDesigns arrived Friday. It’s a graduation gift for another flutist, but it looks so fantastic, I thought about keeping it! It’s slightly oversized, to accommodate both student and professional style cases.

black flute case cover with embroidery

MischiefDesigns flute case cover with embroidery

Music educators have a vested interest in helping people understand the importance of music — partly so their school programs don’t get cut, and partly because they see first-hand what music does for kids. In doing this, we often relegate music to a supporting role, listing study after study showing how music improves math grades or helps kids regulate emotion.

Screw that. You know why? Because music is worth studying for music’s sake. This world would be nothing without music. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who enjoys a day — just one day — without music. Music on the morning commute, on our iPods, in our movies, at our parties, in our lonely bedrooms, in our churches, even in our elevators. Why? Because we need it. Because it does something to us that can’t be explained, and it doesn’t have to be. It’s OK to understand the intrinsic value of music without having to quantify it.

But for those who enjoy quantification, here’s a video that does a pretty good job of it without degrading music to a supporting role. Enjoy.

The moral of this story? Always have your flute with you. You never know when you might need a random solo to ease international relations.

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A friend sent this Craigslist advert to me. It’s easily the 2nd most entertaining thing I’ve read all week.

“They call the trumpet “God’s Instrument.” The instrument that takes a month to learn and a lifetime to master. Forget that. I’m giving you the chance to own “Satan’s Instrument.” The instrument that takes a second to hate and a lifetime to get used to. If your goal is world domination, getting the ball rolling on the apocalypse, or simply disarming someone who’s a little too “rapey,” this miniature flute of terror will hold the game down. And how.

“Brought to you by Lucifer himself, this 4SP Silver Plated Gemienhardt Piccolo will serve his evil minion well. From it’s compact arthritis-inducing body this pipe will unleash a sound that can bring entire crowds of people to their knees in pain and surrender. If you’re thinking of starting a bloody coup, leave the AK-47s and sarin gas at home son, this picc is all you need.

“This instrument has the ability to sing an A five lines above the staff so crisp and clear that if you’re not careful may actually cleave your conductor’s brain clean in half. It’s highest note is one only dogs can hear, that composers have dubbed “X.”

“Apart from the oboe, this is the only instrument able to kick a field goal of pain right between the goal posts of your unfortunate target’s neurons, resulting in synaptic misfires, blown mental fuses, and a complete breakdown of all left brain activity, leaving the right brain to writhe in pain and confusion whilst scrambling all bodily motor functions. Any soul unlucky enough to wind up on the business end of Beezulbub’s piccolo will instantly be reduced to the fetal position and revoked of their right to free will.

“Aside from violating several Geneva Convention protocols, this wailing weaponry can produce frequencies that wreak havoc upon others by causing:
– sudden unexpected nosebleeds
– aphasia
– heart palpitations
– aneurisms
– loss of sanity
– unexplainable rage
– spontaneous combustion
– abandonment of the will to live
– anal leakage

“It’s a common mistake to think that the piccolo also has side effects on it’s user. Many claim it causes acute narcissism, but in reality the only people drawn to this instrument are already delusionally narcissistic, have serial killer tendencies, and show traits as promising future dictators.

“Because of this instrument, I now rule over my own sovereign island, where I preach from balconies and lounge in my throne poppin’ bottles while getting fanned with palm fronds waved by ridiculously hot cabana boys. Tomorrow’s forecast: Whatever the hell I want.

“Since I’m livin’ the dream, I’m retiring from my reign of terror and passing on the torch. Being evil is an arduous, exhaustive effort, and this musical scepter cannot be played by your average whitebread vanilla villain. Only the most cunning, dextrous, morally ambiguous, and questionably sane may apply. Who among you is worthy?

“$300 obo. Willing to throw in a box of gravel and ship.”

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Without further ado (with links to Google images):

  1. Hubert Laws
  2. Sam Most
  3. Eric Dolphy
  4. Frank Wess
  5. Herbie Mann
  6. Ian Anderson

See the previous post if you missed out on the fun. 🙂

image

…try the “name that famous jazz flutist finger puppet” game. TheHollyJones whipped these bad boys up for me a couple months ago and I just now have time to photograph them. Ok, I’m actually procrastinating, doing this instead of putting up my Christmas junk. At any rate, see if you can be the first to name all 6. (By the way, #5 does have 2 eyes.) Sorry, no prizes… Just glory and fame. I’ll post the answers in 1-2 weeks.


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